Flashbacks

Tonight I went to visit my niece for her birthday. She just also happens to live in the same complex as my ex-boyfriend used live. Pulling into the complex I found myself suddenly thrust into a flashback. Me and six-year-old Sawyer carrying out the trash...

Sawyer: “It’s scary out here. I don’t like being outside in the dark. I think it’s kinda freaky.”

Me: “Can you see the temple down there? It’s all lit up?”

Sawyer: “Yeah”

Me: “As long as you can see the temple you don’t ever have to be afraid.”

Sawyer: “Really?”

Me: “Yup. Just keep your eyes on the temple.”

Sawyer: (Grinning from ear to ear) “That’s cool.”

And just like that was gone. In its place a deep sadness. For a whole year I had a family, I had a purpose, I even had kids, and I thought about them all the time. Now they’re just great memories. I still think about them...a lot.


I remember when I first started dating a guy w four kids I thought - "What am I doing?!?" I thought for sure I wasn't meant for that job. Maybe I wasn't and that's why it didn't work out. But the kids were never a reason why it didn't work. It's amazing how much you can come to know and love them in just one short year. They felt like they were mine. And I guess for a year....they were.






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